A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

What do you call a person mowing a lawn? A Mexican

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No-one because that's not feasible.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

Hi

Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

Roey Jegen

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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