How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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this is not a joke. jks

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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Q. who's george porchy?

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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