So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Womens rights !

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why did the pie cross the road? A: Pie is not a living thing and has no way of transportation, therefor the pie did not cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yesterday, I was hosting a party, and there were a lot of people crowding around some fruit punch I made all trying to get a glass... Whoops, it appears I forgot the Punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops