WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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