Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

Simon says; "You're adopted."

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

what do you call a cow? A cow

Women's Rights.

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...