Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Q-What do you call kids who go to school? A- Students.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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17

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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