I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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