- Anti Joke

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

sorry got to poo

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

Blue fish occasionally consume large amopunts of the insides of oak trees.

Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

Why did the mexican wash his car? The car was dirty

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

Andy Carrol

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

This is not a joke

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

Anti Joke

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