Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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She said no

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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