Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops