Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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