Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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