How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Why the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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