A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q; What is pink and has 2 legs? A: Not a lot of things, but a Flamingo is the closest thing that I could think of if you do not count the beak eyes and feet.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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