Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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What smells bad and is black, A very dirty dead decomposing body.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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PENIS

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Donald Trump.

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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