Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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A baby elephant steps on a lego. First thought, auch, huh ?! Actually, the lego was fine with it and so was the baby elephant. Now they're married and are expecting a baby legophant.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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Justin Bieber.

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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