What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John. John Anderson. Dude we've been friends since first grade! You really don't remember me? I'm going home!

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops