Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You're a virgin.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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Gangnam style

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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