A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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DESERT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops