A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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You know your in deep shit when you hit somebody in the head with a 2 by 4 and they dont go down.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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What do you say to a black man on the street? Hello.

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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