A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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you lose.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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