BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

i have to pee out my ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What happens after you go to school? (you tell me, i'm only in 6th grade)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You know what sucks? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The person below me is weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops