I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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a fish swimming in the water swims

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a homicidal maniac.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. A heated religious debate ensues in which everyone is uncomfortable and leaves questioning their own faith and fearing the unknown.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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