Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' house? No. Neither has he...

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Cool Brian

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops