What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

Why did i write this? I was bored

penis

A bench doesn't breathe, apparently Mexicans do.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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