What is a life without options.... an optionless life

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

Bean.

How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

A blond walks into McDonalds. She orders and leaves.

How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

An irish man walks out of a bar

1.....2.....3.....boom you died

What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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