What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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The black man leaves the strip club.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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