What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

Roey Jegen

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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