Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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acualy is dolan

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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