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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

One time I masturbated by myself

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

its my money!, but i dont need it right away

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

What's big and messy? A big mess

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

That's what she didn't say

we should name the next hurricane alex rodriguez so it dosent hit any thing

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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