How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Religion.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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a boy walks into the doctors office."my knees hurt...i poked it like this"the doctor says "listen kid...u are a really good kid but u didnt really injure your knee and im sick of you!!"

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops