A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

What us black and white and read all over The newspaper

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

Women's rights

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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