"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Melbourne Football Club.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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There are two types of people in this world: Those who can finish lists. and

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops