What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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A midget walks under a bar

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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what does the NAACP stand for? Now Apes Are Called People.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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