i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops