- Anti Joke

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

Hillary Clinton

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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