Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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racism...deal with it!

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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antijoke is the best website.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops