Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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What's black and fun to hang from trees? Tire swings.

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split your ass cheek

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? Hi, my name is Chris.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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