What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Thumbs this up

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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What do you call a person with no legs and an eyepatch? Names.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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I had sex with my mother in law

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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Hey

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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