What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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homework

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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