What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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acualy is dolan

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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