Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +13

can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

politically correct!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

69

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops