Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cool Brian

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

thumb_up thumb_down -11

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? When a child gets raped every night by its father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A woman walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

DESERT

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops