Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What number is funnier than 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

full house

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has three legs, 6 notches, 8 wheels, is beige, has cancer, and is severely burnt? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was hungry. Thats why.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops