What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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America

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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The Arrowtongue commands the road like a semi-truck. But the Gyrosprinter corners on a dime.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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PATHETIC

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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