'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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vaginas are pretty!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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