Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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What do you call a billionaire who lost a large portion of their net worth? A millionaire.

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Flop dog

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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