A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

thumb_up thumb_down +2

OIO

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

thumb_up thumb_down +2

pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops