Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Justin's hair

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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God

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops