roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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One day I was hungry. I ate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What do giant panda bears eat? giant bamboo

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Justin Bieber.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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hey

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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