Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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yes... that's the joke

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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