Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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Why is it as hot as the sun? Because it is the sun

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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NASCAR

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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whats more serious than rape the holocaust

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Why did the crack head cross the road? To get crack.

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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your mother

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops