Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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LIFE INSERT COIN TO BEGIN!!! SELECT DIFFICULTY EASY

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Paper shield.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

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What hurts people but doesn't? Child Birth. -Dave Papile

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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