What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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Terry has ebola

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops